Writers On The Move

Eight Ways to Handle Rejection.

Life is all about aiming to achieve. And when you do this, you face the likelihood that you won't get what you want—in other words, you'll be rejected.

If you look at this realistically, it means that rejection isn't all bad. In fact, if you are not being rejected, you're not moving on with life—whether we're talking about writers and their books, young people looking for a job, adults looking for relationships, or even children starting out at school.

Rejection means you're trying to move on. And that in itself is a good thing. The real issue is, how do you deal with it? The better you get at dealing with rejection, the less it will affect you negatively. So here are eight ways to help you deal with rejection, whether it's in the writing field or not.

Acknowledge it to yourself. Don't pretend it doesn't hurt. Don't tell yourself your thinking is wrong. You've been rejected. It hurts. Say it!

Be specific. Stop for a moment and analyse what you're saying to yourself. Is it you that's been rejected? (And it could be.) Or is it something you have done? Is it the book you've slaved over for the past two years? Has your job application been turned down? Did the person you wanted to befriend spurn your approaches? Analysing the exact cause of the rejection will help to get it into perspective.

Examine your emotions. How upset are you? Just a little? Or do you want to sit down and sob? That's okay. Do it if you want to. That's a God-given way of releasing emotion. Get it out your system, so you can move on.

Write down your feelings: Write them in a journal or even on the back of an old envelope. Just get them down. e.g. "I've worked so hard at this book. This was the one publisher I was sure would love it. Now they've turned me down, I feel as if I've wasted two years of my life."
Or"I feel sad because she doesn't want to be my friend. I am lonely, and really long to have someone to talk to."

Correct the statement. Go over it analytically. Is it exactly accurate in every way? Does it stop too soon? e.g. in the first statement, the publisher hasn't turned you down. He's turned your book down. And you probably don't know why. Maybe the reader had a flat tyre on the way to work, and your book starts with the heroine staring at a flat tyre! It can be as silly as that! The second example may be exactly true, but it's not logical. It suggests now that the one person has turned you down, there is no one else who can solve your loneliness. Not true!

Decide to tell someone else. Notice I said "decide". Whether you actually do or not depends on the circumstances, and on whether it is really necessary. But think of someone you think will listen and understand what you're going through. Then imagine yourself sharing with them. Tell them just how you feel, the reactions stirring within you. Share the actions you feel like taking. Do you want to burn the book? Or more likely, hit DELETE--and find another interest? Even as you put it into words, you know you don't want to do this. Your rejection is a bump in the road. There is a lot more to your journey. Do you want to never talk to anyone again? Well then you certainly will be lonely!

Speak to someone, if you still need to, and you can think of the right person. Chances are by the time you get to this stage you will have realised you can deal with it yourself.

Prepare to move on. It's easy to get stuck on the hurts of the rejection. But once you've taken a good hard look at your emotions, reactions, and have a clearer picture, it's time to move on. Dwelling on the negative is going to keep you living through the whole experience and the emotions. Don't sit around waiting for something to happen. You need to prepare for the next step.

Have you faced rejection recently? How did you deal with it? Do you have anything to add to this list? Leave a comment below.

Related reading that will encourage you:

SHIRLEY CORDER lives in South Africa, with her husband Rob. She is author of Strength Renewed: Meditations for your Journey through Breast Cancer, contributing author to eleven other books, and her name is on hundreds of devotions and articles internationally.

Visit Shirley on her website to inspire and encourage writers, or on Rise and Soar, her website for encouraging those on the cancer journey. Do pop onto her Author's page on Facebook and introduce yourself so she can be your friend.

Layering Your Writing Piece

I am a writer but I am also a quilter. It occurred to me recently as I began outlining a quilting and applique book project for the proposal I need to send, that quilting and writing have much in common. Layers.

Quilters gather fabric to sew into a quilt top from the scraps and perfect cut pieces of beautiful fabric they have collected. They work and work until the fabrics are arranged in just the right way to reflect the story or picture the quilter wants the piece to represent. When the top of the quilt is just right, it is layered with the batting for warmth and stability in the middle and another colorful piece of fabric is placed on the back. Three layers for the purpose of making a quilt and telling a story.

So a quilter now has a fabulous backing, cozy comfy middle, and a spectacular top that is stitched together in another meaningful pattern to bring it all together. Many times the quilting adds another layer to the emotional story the quilter is trying to tell.

Finally the perfect binding is attached and secured to hold the whole quilt together forever telling a story whether that story is about family, nature, colors, or design. The quilt sparks an emotional reaction for those looking who see it.

Writers do much of the same thing when constructing a piece of writing. It really doesn't matter if it is a children's book, a novel, an article, a fiction piece or a nonfiction project. The process is similar. A writer gathers the facts, creates the character, or lists quotes and references to be used to "tell the story". Next they write a beginning, middle, and end to pull all those scraps of knowledge or characters and actions into an informative or entertaining work for readers.

Next writers go back and revise making certain the layers of plot, subplots, actions, reactions, and climax are placed in just the right way to satisfy the reader and tell a story.

Finally, if the work is a book it is bound with the perfect cover to add another layer to the story. Articles and shorter pieces are bound with titles, headings, subheadings and final "bindings" that make the piece tell the perfect story for the reader. Whether informative, entertaining, educational, or just a blurb about a product the finished written piece is layered with information to reach the reader on an emotional level.

How is your current piece of work layered?

The more layers the more complex the story or article so think about the concept of layering. Layering both the story or plot line and each character's personality will add depth to your story. Layering interesting facts that lead or are related to other little known facts about a topic can also add depth and meaning to your nonfiction pieces.

And when you get tired of layering words, you can always give a go at quilting.

Terri Forehand is a writer, nurse, and owner of a small quilt shop. Author of The Cancer Prayer Book and The ABC's of Cancer According to Lilly Isabella Lane. She writes from the hills of Brown County Indiana. She is currently working on PB stories for children and a project book for quilters. www.terriforehand.webnode.com , http://terri-forehand.blogspot.com

Each year in January I sit down and formulate my goals for the coming year. These are not resolutions, this is an actual to do list. In setting your goals yearly, it is important to have a vision of where you wish to be in the future - perhaps 5 or 10 years from now, then goals become the steps you will take to get you there.

Your goals as a writer may include the number of hours a week you will devote to your latest project. It might also include dates when you hope to have larger pieces completed. It should also contain some marketing - how often you will post to certain social media sites, up-date your website, etc.

Often it seems that we forget an important area - reading. When writers inform me they are too busy to read, I know there will be a challenge for them. As writers some of our learning is done through the process of reading and analyzing the work of other writers. This is an important step that often times is forgotten.

This year I challenge you to not only commit to reading a certain number of books, articles, etc, but to also review or comment on what you've read. Let's make this a year of continued growth for all writers.

______________________________

D. Jean Quarles is a writer of Women's Fiction and a co-author of a Young Adult Science Fiction Series. Her latest book, House of Glass, Book 2 of The Exodus Series was written with coauthor, Austine Etcheverry.

D. Jean loves to tell stories of personal growth – where success has nothing to do with money or fame, but of living life to the fullest. She is also the author of the novels: Rocky's Mountains, Fire in the Hole and, Perception. The Mermaid, an award winning short story was published in the anthology, Tales from a Sweltering City.

She is a wife, mother, grandmother and business coach. In her free time . . . ha! ha! ha! Anyway, you can find more about D. Jean Quarles, her writing and her books at her website at www.djeanquarles.com

You can also follower her at www.djeanquarles.blogspot.com or on Facebook

The Daily Bucket List

by Gilda Evans

Lately, there have been several people I know who have lost loved ones - a friend or family member whom they cared about deeply. When this happens, it often causes one to reflect upon one's own mortality. It gives your perspective a reality check, underscoring the things that are truly important in life. And it makes you think about your own "bucket list"...all those things we want to accomplish before we leave this earthly plane.

I then realized that there are things we all could be doing each day to help us cope with the challenges we constantly face that will help us generally in life, and particularly with the ability to concentrate on the things we want to do - like our writing!

So, with that in mind, I'd like to offer a list of things that I feel everyone can utilize to achieve a happier, calmer state of mind in spite of the stress of everyday living that so many of us are going through nowadays for one reason or another. It is comprised of those things that we can all do every day, to help keep things on an even keel. And the beauty of it is, none of them requires any money or a large amount of time.

Ready? Here we go -

1. Hug someone you love at least once a day. If there's isn't anyone around who fits the bill, then give yourself a hug or a solid pat on the back - just because.

2. Take a moment to smell the flowers. I'm being literal here. Go outside, find the nearest rosebush or something similar, and take a good, long whiff. If there isn't a sweet smelling plant around, then just enjoy the fresh air and sunshine for a few moments. In other words, stop what you're doing and just be. No radio, tv, phone calls - just you and nature. Let your mind be the noisiest thing around for once.

3. Stop procrastinating about that diet you want to start or the exercise you've been meaning to do. Start taking care of your body so it can take care of you, It's never too late. Never. You don't have to belong to a gym. Even a morning walk can do wonders.

4. Enjoy the peace of surrender. By that I mean, once you've done everything you need to do, or can do regarding whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish, then let it go. Whatever happens is going to happen, and you'll deal with it. One of my new favorite sayings is, "People have trouble being happy because they see the past as better than it was, the present as worse than it is, and the future as less resolved than it will be."

5. Don't overload your brain. You know what you have to do. You've got it all written down in your calendar or task list or whatever. Concentrate on one or two things at a time. Then go on to the next thing. You will function and feel much better as a result.

6. Ask for help if you need it. Whatever kind of help it is that you require, chances are you know someone who is willing to lend a hand if you ask. Put your ego aside and ask for that loan or lift in the car or advice or whatever it is you are lacking. Learn to delegate. Learn to accept assistance. You'd be surprised how many people, even the ones you least expect, are willing to help if you give them the chance.

All of these things combined are great stress relievers and very powerful ingredients for getting your life back on track and your energy going in the right direction.

Think I'm being silly?

Then I offer you this challenge - try what I suggest for one week. Just one. And see what happens. If I'm wrong, let me know - and if I'm right, you will most definitely know! You will also find that if you keep all of these things in mind, then the other items on that bucket list of yours - the trip around the world, the skydiving, climbing Half Dome at Yosemite National Park or whatever it is that trips your trigger, will come much more easily as well.

I wish you luck and have fun checking off those items on your list!

Gilda Evans, Author/Speaker/Blogger
http://www.gildaevans.com

Facebook http://ow.ly/39ht0
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Freelance Writing: How to Find Clients

by Suzanne Lieurance

If you're starting a freelance writing business, one of the most difficult things to figure out can be how to find clients. But actually, it's fairly easy.

The first thing you need to do is decide on the types of writing you wish to focus on and specialize in. Once you've done that, the next step is to decide who your potential clients and customers are for these types of materials. Then hang out where these people hang out.

For example, have you decided you want to write for small businesses?

Then hang out online at forums for small business professionals and entrepreneurs.

Also, find local associations for small business professionals and entrepreneurs and attend some of these in person events. To find out about many of these events in your area, just go to www.google.com. I live in Jensen Beach, Florida, for example, so I typed in "local business associations in Jensen Beach" and all sorts of results popped up.

Next, visit the websites for these associations to learn more about them. From the information you see there, you'll be able to tell if they're a good fit for the types of products and services you can provide as a freelance writer.

Once you do find a few that seem like a good fit, check the calendar at each site to see what kind of monthly events they have.

Chances are, each of these groups will have a monthly networking event. Plan to attend a few of these events to get to know some of the people in each of these groups.

Each of these associations also probably hosts a monthly coffee or luncheon that includes a speaker. After you've gotten to know the members of each group, make it known that you're available for speaking engagements, then get busy preparing a short presentation that will provide something of interest and value to these professionals.

When you create your marketing plan each week or each month, be sure to include regular networking events with your target market (your potential clients and customers).

If you make it a habit to hang out with your potential clients and customers, and you take the time to really get to know these people, it shouldn't be long before you start building your client list.

And it only takes a few regular clients to start making a nice income from your writing.

Try it!

Suzanne Lieurance is an author, freelance writer, certified professional life coach and writing coach, speaker and workshop presenter. She has written over two dozen published books and hundreds of articles for newspapers, magazines, and other publications. She lives and writes by the sea in Jensen Beach, Florida. Visit her blog at www.writebythesea.com and for daily tips to help you stay focused on your writing career, get your free subscription to The Morning Nudge at www.morningnudge.com.

On the writerly resolution

I'm not really a resolution type girl. I prefer goals. SMART goals - that is, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Goals can be worked towards - they aren't necessarily met or not met. Instead we use them as roadmaps and progress towards their achievement. If you have a goal to write 12 chapters and only write 6, you haven't failed, you've written 6 chapters. So, as we are now in January 2014, I thought it might be right to define a few writerly goals rather than resolutions that we can all work towards in our writing practice. There is no non-achievement here. Every step along the way is to be congratulated. Here are my five goals for 2014. Maybe they'll resonate with you too.

Write every day - no matter where; no matter what. I don't like to confine myself to word counts - sometimes I have to stop and research. Sometimes I have to minister to the many people in my life that I love and who need me. But if I touch base with my writing each day it moves forward and stays present in my head. I can then also do a lot of the work in my subconcious, through attention, and application in ways that don't happen if you let a day, or several days, go by without writing.
Write without restraint. Allow yourself to delve deep - sometimes to dark places where there is pain and desire. No one will read what you've written until you let them, so forget about your readers for a bit and go where you must to find your own truth (bet you don't hear that often...).
Turn off the lizardy, self-critical voice in your head (she can come back later) when you write. The goal is not to write a masterpiece. That's too daunting and probably not SMART. The goal is just to front up and do the writing. The polishing comes later. So don't criticise yourself. Now is not the time.
Look, listen, pay attention. The world is full of characters and material. The more you write, the more you'll notice and find stuff to write about. Everything (and everyone) is interesting if you pay close enough attention, listen, look, use your five senses, and really take it in.
Aim for completion. It doesn't have to be the whole project. Chunking a project into, for example, chapters, or poems, or pieces of finished work is not only more satisfying than endlessly working on something, but it gives you something you can submit somewhere, which really helps keep the writing juices flowing (a few accolades/publications/or positive critiques don't hurt either).

How about you? Will you be setting secific goals for 2014? Whatever you'll be spending 2014 doing, have a very happy new year!

Magdalena Ball is the author of the novels Black Cow and Sleep Before Evening, the poetry books Repulsion Thrust and Quark Soup, a nonfiction book The Art of Assessment, and, in collaboration with Carolyn Howard-Johnson, Sublime Planet, Deeper Into the Pond, Blooming Red, Cherished Pulse, She Wore Emerald Then, and Imagining the Future. She also runs a radio show, The Compulsive Reader Talks. Find out more about Magdalena at www.magdalenaball.com.

Goal Setting for the New Year

I long ago stopped making “New Year’s Resolutions,” because as we all know they only last about a week, right? Go on a diet, exercise more, write more, be happier, etc.

I wonder, why does that happen? Perhaps it’s because these resolutions are just too broad, too sweeping—“write more”—what does that mean? It could mean writing one page more than you wrote last year. Or perhaps you set goals that you can't possibly give yourself, that aren't within your control. Goals like, “I’m going to become a published author this year,” or “I’m going to win a writing contest this year.” These goals are beyond your control and you are setting yourself up for failure.

Be specific. There’s a difference between your dreams (being published, winning awards) and your achievable goals. For example, as a goal, you may write down “I will write for ten minutes a day” or “I will write 500 words a day.” Those are specific and they are attainable. (Not: write for 12 hours a day or write 10,000 words a day. Unrealistic.)

A goal that can help you on your path to publication may be “I will submit one short story (or article) per month (or every 3 months, or whatever achievable time frame you set).” Or “I will make a list of ten agents (or publishers)” and “I will submit one query per month (or whatever time frame).”

A goal to put you closer to winning a contest may be similar: “I will submit an entry to one contest every month (or other time frame).”

Others might be: “I will join a critique group.”

“I will take a class in memoir (fiction, creative non-fiction).”

“I will finish the first draft of my book by July 1.”

“I will complete the second rewrite of my book by December 1.”

Divide your larger goals into mini goals you can work on each day.

“I'll write three pages before I go to bed today.”

“I'll finish that outline today.”

“I'll research that information I need today.”

My immediate goal is to put the final polish on a non-fiction book by my deadline of January 31. My next goal is to begin the rewrite on what will become the fourth novel in my series. Perhaps I want to give myself a deadline to finish that novel and submit it to my publisher by November 1. To help me along with that, I plan to revive the critique group I got started last fall. If I want to refine that, I could say that I will have five (or ten) pages per week ready for my critique partners.

How do you set goals and what are some of yours?

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A native Montanan, Heidi M. Thomas now lives in North-central Arizona. Her first novel, Cowgirl Dreams, is based on her grandmother, and the sequel, Follow the Dream, won the national WILLA Award. Heidi has a degree in journalism, a certificate in fiction writing, and is a member of the Independent Editors Guild. She teaches writing and edits, blogs, and her next book Dare to Dream Will be published next May.