Writers On The Move: editing

Showing posts with label editing. Show all posts

Bait and Switch Editing

Bait and switch tactics don't usually work well in writing. Of course, surprises and twists are good, but if you write a romance and market it as a psychological thriller, you'll disappoint readers. If you start a novel as a realistic, contemporary mystery, and near the end reveal that the real culprit was a vampire, you'll alienate the contemporary mystery audience. If you title an article, "Seven Ways to Avoid Ironing" and then talk only about the history of ironing, you have failed.

I've been reading a lot of self-published novels the last few years, and a different sort of bait and switch pattern has emerged in an unfortunate number of them. This is a bait and switch of editing. The book starts well, with few typos and other errors. Then it begins to deteriorate. Sometimes this is so dramatic that I have to believe the author hired a professional editor but only wanted to pay for the first few chapters.

These authors must believe that once the reader is invested enough in the character or story line, they won't care about the editing and will keep reading to see what happens. This works—in part—on me. I want to see what happens in the end. But I do care about the editing too, and I get increasingly annoyed with the author. I feel almost betrayed, like he didn't have enough respect for his readers to properly edit the whole thing, and decided instead to purposely trick us. I'm probably extreme in this, but even people who aren't as sensitive to errors as I am will often feel disappointed, and many will decide against reading more by the author. And you always want to leave the reader wanting more.

If you're a regular to this site, with all the editing tips and resources included here, you probably wouldn't dream of intentionally baiting and switching like this. But sometimes it happens even if you don't mean it. We've probably all edited the first one to three chapters of our novels more heavily than any other part, because that's what agents want to see. The first chapter is what will hook or let go of a reader. But do not neglect all the other chapters. Use the hints and tips on Writers on the Move to make sure you don't fall into this pattern.

Melinda Brasher's newest story sale went to NOUS magazine. It's a tale of a corporate unhappiness and a "take that" scheme that doesn't go as planned. Check out the magazine here: NOUS. Other travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others. For an e-book collection of some of her favorite published pieces, check out Leaving Home. For something a little more medieval, read her YA fantasy novel, Far-Knowing. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

Writing - How to Edit in a Rush

Guest Post by Ernest Mendozza

Every writer out there procrastinates. We're not proud of it, but we tend to find ourselves in situations where we start working on a project last minute. Sometimes literally. The result is usually disappointing to everyone involved, but, hey, at least you submitted it, right? Now it's the editor's problem.

Well, if you're that type of writer who unloads a raw draft on an editor, you can be sure you're not well regarded by them. This issue has an easy fix: editing. But how do you edit something in a rush? Those of you who do it often know how labor-intensive and time-consuming it is. And aren't you risking mucking up the piece beyond repair by not having enough time to do it at a leisurely pace? Not if you know what you're doing.

Don't Print it Out

Lots of stuff has been written about the benefits of editing the old-school analog way. There are probably still editors out there who print out the digital copy they get, write notes in the margins (with indecipherable handwriting, of course), then scan and send it out to the writer. And, yeah, this method is great if you can afford to sit down with an iced coffee to take your time and ponder whether this sentence can stand to lose this or that word.

But not in a time crunch.

When you're pressed for time, doing the editing on a computer is the only way to do it efficiently. Not to mention the fact that you're saving paper this way!

Make Peace With Your Mistakes

Since you don't have a ton of time, you'll have to deal with the fact that none of your efforts are going to cut too deep into the text. If what you wrote has some deep-level issues, there's nothing you can do about it now. Make peace with what you wrote and the fact that you can only pretty much correct surface-level stuff.

And this might go against everything you've ever learned, but don't work too hard. The way you're doing this is focused on speed, not making something perfect (which, as you might know, can never be done in the first place). Instead of beating yourself up over how the piece is never going to be as stellar as it deserves to be, focus on making it the best you can with the resources that are available. That's the best you can do in this situation.

Get it Done in Two Passes

I've learned from experience (can you tell that I write in a rush often?) that two is the perfect intersection between time-saving and editing effectiveness. Two passes, each focused on a specific aspect, with a short break in the middle, are the way to go:

First, get on the sentence level. Read your entire piece sentence by sentence, trying to get to the core of what it's supposed to be. If it has obviously superfluous parts, take them out. If what you're editing is your first completed draft, consider rewriting most of them. Remember to manage your time and keep in mind that it doesn't need to be perfect at this point. If you see one sentence that can be split into two, most of the time the text will benefit from it. If you notice language that's too flowery, change it. This is the pass where you correct your grammar, too.

Second, after taking a small break to clear your mind, go through the text paragraph by paragraph. Make sure that you're not repeating yourself. Make sure that your writing is structurally sound. Overall, make sure that what you're trying to convey is being conveyed. Lots of writing suffers from being too into itself to effectively communicate something. Make sure that's not happening.

That's it! Hit send. You've done the best you can with the limits that you're under, and you can rest easy because you've submitted before deadline (or at least not as late as you could have been). Proceed to reward yourself with an ice cream.

Sources:
wikihow.com/Copyedit-and-Proofread-Written-Work
wri.tt/blog/how-to-be-a-good-editor-for-your-own-writing

About the Author

Ernest Mendozza is a writer and blogger trying to find a balance between productiveness and binge-watching Netflix at 3 a.m. He writes about innovations in tech and social media. His best friend is his dog, Milo.

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Is "I Just Like Them" a Good Reason to Use Ampersands?

Ampersands: Pretty Is as Pretty Does

By Carolyn Howard-Johnson

I added a new section to the second edition of my The Frugal Editor because ampersands seem to be so popular these days. It’s especially important for editors and those who publish books to both know a little about their history, how to use them, and how Lynn Truss’s of the world might view them. So, I thought I’d share this excerpt today.

AMPERSANDS: PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DOES

The ampersand is a real pretty little dude but it isn’t a letter nor even a word. It’s a logogram that represents a word. Its history goes back to classical antiquity, but interesting history and being cute are no reason to overuse it in the interest of trying to separate one’s writing from the pack. Better writers should concentrate on the techniques that make a difference rather than gimmicks that distract. Here are some legitimate uses for the ampersand.

The Writers Guild of America uses the ampersand to indicate a closer collaboration than and, in other words, to indicate a closer partnership rather than a situation in which one writer is brought in to rewrite or fix the work of another. For those in the know it is a convenient way to subtly indicate that one writer has not been brought in to rewrite of fix the work of another.
Newspapers, journals and other choose to use it when they are citing sources. That’s their style choice, not a grammar rule.
In similar citing, academia asks that the word and be spelled out.
Occasionally the term etc. is abbreviated to &c, though I can see no reason for confusing a reader with this. Etc. is already an abbreviation of et cetera and the ampersand version saves but one letter and isn’t commonly recognized.
Ampersands are sometimes used instead of and to distinguish the and is part of a name rather than the typical conjunction used when naming a series of items, though here, too, it feels like a stretch and more confusing than helpful. Wikipedia gives this example: “Rock, pop, rhythm & blues and hip hop.” This also seems like an unnecessary affectation if we would but use the traditional serial comma like this: “Rock, pop, rhythm and blues, and hip hop.”

------

Carolyn Howard-Johnson brings her experience as a publicist, journalist, marketer, and retailer to the advice she gives in her HowToDoItFrugally series of books for writers and the many classes she taught for nearly a decade as instructor for UCLA Extension’s world-renown Writers’ Program. All her books for writers are multi award winners including both the first and second editions of The Frugal Book Promoter and her multi award-winning The Frugal Editor won awards from USA Book News, Readers’ Views Literary Award, the marketing award from Next Generation Indie Books and others including the coveted Irwin award. Her next book in the HowToDoItFrugally series for writers will be Getting Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically.

Howard-Johnson is the recipient of the California Legislature’s Woman of the Year in Arts and Entertainment Award, and her community’s Character and Ethics award for her work promoting tolerance with her writing. She was also named to Pasadena Weekly’s list of “Fourteen San Gabriel Valley women who make life happen” and was given her community’s Diamond Award for Achievement in the Arts.

The author loves to travel. She has visited eighty-nine countries and has studied writing at Cambridge University in the United Kingdom; Herzen University in St. Petersburg, Russia; and Charles University, Prague. She admits to carrying a pen and journal wherever she goes. Her Web site is www.howtodoitfrugally.com.

3 Actionable Ways to Edit Text on a Budget

Guest Post by Andrew Howe

No matter how experienced you are, you might spend some time editing and proofreading your text before publishing it. And as a writer, you would agree that if the writing process takes time, the editing process needs even more efforts. To edit texts well, you need to be attentive and skilled which is not so easy, so some writers would rather turn to editors.

But:

Hiring professional editors is expensive, so if you're on a tight budget, you'd better learn how to edit texts without spending much money. And there are four actionable ways how to do it.

1. Use Free Tools

The most common way to check your article is to use online tools that can highlight stylistic and grammar mistakes so that you can correct them. As the technological progress is developing daily, the number of tools is growing, too.

No better feeling can be found than finding useful tools that are free of charge, especially if you don't have money to spend on online editors.

Here are some free tools to edit your chunks:

•    Hemingway
•    Grammarly
•    AdverbLess
•    ProWritingAid
•    AutoCrit

Once you find tools that work for you, start using them, but never stop exploring the Internet in order to find new useful tools to edit your writing.

2. Collaborate with Other Writers

Even if you give your text time, double check it, and use all the editing techniques you know, making your text perfect is a hard thing to do as you perceive the information in a different way.

To have a fresh look at the text, you'd better share it with another writer. Once your colleague gives you feedback, you can analyze your piece from a different angle.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Although begging your colleagues isn't good, you can collaborate with them in order to take advantage of it for both of you: exchange articles to edit, give feedback, or highlight chunks that should be proofread.

3. Enhance Your Editing Skills

If you're good at editing, that's great. If you keep developing your editing skills, that's even better! It goes without saying that even a professional editor can make some mistakes or typos. But, the more you train, the better your results are. Thus, pay attention to ways how to enhance your editing skills right from your home (or wherever you have the Internet connection):

•    MOOCs. Enrolling in online courses from the world-best universities is a good way to improve skills. As the variety of MOOCs is big on the web, the number of courses for writers is growing rapidly, so you can sign up for courses to learn self-editing techniques.

•    Learning from gurus. Surfing the Internet, you come across different writers and bloggers who are successful. Most of them share their tricks and tips, so reading their articles can give you insights.

•    Practice. There is nothing better than practicing. Once you have some free time, dig into your drafts and try to edit them. Every time you come back to your article, you can find some things to work on: find a better word, change some sentences, or include a new example. Practice is the key to editing success!

While you're learning editing skills, write down new tips and techniques so to remember them. Once your skills are advanced, you can craft better text from scratch.

A well-written article will not only grab, but it will also hold your audience's attention, thus polishing your writing skills is a crucial task for writers who want to stand out in their niche.

The truth is, it's nearly impossible to write an outstanding piece without spending time on editing and proofreading it. So, to save time and money, use the above-mentioned strategies. They'll help you learn how to become a better editor.

Do you have editing tips you’d like to share?

Andrew Howe is a student who loves learning something new! Being fond of writing, he has crafted AdverbLess, a tool to help people eradicate adverbs in their proses to make it stronger. Contact Andrew via mail: andrewhowe306@gmail.com

MORE ON WRITING AND BOOK MARKETING

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A Proofreading Tip--from Psychology

I ran across this interesting video from Bite Size Psych. It's about a 3-question test given to college students--many of whom miss at least one of the questions. The test reveals cognitive bias, that quick conclusion-making that can sometimes lead us astray. And it's exactly the type of thing that makes it difficult to spot typos in our own work.

Studies seem to show that students do better on tests when...get this...the font is hard to read. It slows down the brain's processing, giving you time to really think instead of simply jumping to the easiest conclusion.

So, the brilliant proofreading tip: when you're ready to do that final proof, change the font on your document to something unusual and hard to read. You'll find more errors.

Just don't forget to change it back.

Check out the full video here: The Simple Riddle that More than 50% of Harvard Students Got Wrong

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic. She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books. Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others. For an e-book collection of some of her favorite published pieces, check out Leaving Home. For something a little more medieval, read her YA fantasy novel, Far-Knowing. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

The Work of Editing

So you have probably all seen the images showing how much time is spent actually writing. Sad but true, that even when we, as writers are working at our best capacity, we still find ways to be distracted.

I work in an office that is almost exclusively used for my writing, yet, still I find myself moving containers, getting my tea where it is handy, straightening books, etc. Moving, organizing, and preparing are as much a part of the writing process as actually putting my fingers on the keyboard.

Of course, I must do a bit of thinking - although sometimes this is done well before I make my way to the studio to work. It is done in a bathtub, hammock or even in bed. Sometimes while walking, doing dishes or making beds.

Finally, I get words onto the screen.

All too soon, the creative process is over and its time to edit. And that part of the process is exhausting - both in time and intensity of work.

Recently, I was asked to edit an autobiography. The original had been published in Guatemala and now the author was prepared to publish in the U.S. She had searched for an editor, someone who would edit lightly so as to leave her voice. I apparently made the cut and was trusted with the work.

Editing a piece of writing that is being translated is in itself interesting. Verbs are generally inconsistent due to tense issues. Present and past tense met and merged throughout the document and had to be fixed. As she had requested, I was mindful in my editing to her voice as a native Guatemalan. One thing I found immediately, editing lightly allowed me to be less ruthless than I am generally with my own work, especially with word choice and in particular regarding verbs.

Another challenge was homonyms. These were varied and kept me on my toes. I was also made mindful of cultural differences in how individuals referenced each other.

As I worked to finished the initial portion of the project, I gave much thought to the amount of time, but also to the final product. Editing is a must, but with this project there was no need to agonize for word choice.

I came to realize that the editing process is really made up of several different evaluations.

1. General grammar:

Checking for correct spelling, capitalization, and sentence structure.

2. Format:

Line spacing, font and size type

3. Story or plot line:

Does the story flow? Does it keep the reader's attention?

4. Word choice

Strengthening verbs or other descriptions, reviewing metaphors and similes.

Editing is in itself an effort of love, a love of the process.

__________________________________________

D. Jean Quarles is a writer of Women's Fiction and a co-author of a Young Adult Science Fiction Series. Her latest book, House of Glass, Book 2 of The Exodus Serieswas written with coauthor, Austine Etcheverry.

D. Jean loves to tell stories of personal growth – where success has nothing to do with money or fame, but of living life to the fullest. She is also the author of the novels: Rocky's Mountains, Fire in the Hole, and Perception.The Mermaid, an award winning short story was published in the anthology, Tales from a Sweltering City.

She is a wife, mother, grandmother and business coach. In her free time . . . ha! ha! ha! Anyway, you can find more about D. Jean Quarles, her writing and her books at her website at www.djeanquarles.com

You can also follower her at www.djeanquarles.blogspot.com or on Facebook.

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 6: Hyphens in Compound Adjectives

Compound Adjectives before Nouns

If punctuation is a guide to help your reader understand more quickly and easily, then hyphens can be very useful signposts. One of the most important and overlooked functions of the hyphen is to warn the reader, "Hey, I'm a compound adjective!" Unfamiliar with the terminology? It doesn't matter. Your readers' brains are familiar with the reality.

Take this classic example:

Hyphens, just like commas, can decide who lives and who dies.

Hyphens in Compound Adjectives

A compound adjective is two words that function as one word to modify a noun. In "man-eating alligator," man and eating work together as one unit. It's not a man alligator and an eating alligator. It's a man-eating alligator.

Rule: If a compound adjective comes before a noun, you can (and often should) hyphenate it.

A thin-bladed knife

A 30-mile race

A nervous-looking boy

A leather-bound book

Bird-like legs

A well-known politician

Exception : If the compound adjective uses an adverb ending in –ly, don't hyphenate. This is because the –ly already alerts the reader that this will be a compound adjective.

A badly cooked steak

A wildly painted car

A quickly written memo

Note: Some people prefer to leave out the hyphen if the meaning is clear without, but that can be dangerous. The meaning is obvious to you, since you wrote it. The reader doesn't have the same advantage. So be careful if you decide to omit these hyphens. And always be on the lookout for situations where the lack of hyphen can completely change the meaning, as in the examples below.

Hyphens Clear up Ambiguity

From Grammar Monkeys:

Small-state senator (a senator from a small state)

Small state senator (a state senator who is short and thin)

A violent weather conference (a weather conference where people punch each other a lot)

A violent-weather conference (where meteorologists professionally discuss violent weather)

A hot yoga teacher (an attractive yoga teacher)

A hot-yoga teacher (one who teaches yoga in a purposely hot environment, as in the style of Bikram yoga)

From Grammarbook.com (a great resource)

I have a few more important things to do. (A few more tasks remain on my list of important things to do)

I have a few more-important things to do. (I can't do what you suggest because I have tasks that are more important.)

He returned the stolen vehicle report. (At first, most of us will think he returned the vehicle he stole. Then we come to "report" and we're confused.)

He returned the stolen-vehicle report. (Here it's clear that what he's returning is a report about a stolen vehicle. The vehicle is probably still missing.)

From Apastyle.org

Students who live in two parent homes (students who split their time between two homes where parents also live)

Students who live in two-parent homes (students who live in a home with both parents)

From Wikipedia:

Zero-liability protection (you are not responsible in any way if something bad happens)

Zero liability protection (you have no zero protection if something bad happens)

Examples I've come across lately in reading:

Hard sell tactics (selling tactics which are difficult to perform)

Hard-sell tactics (aggressive selling tactics which perhaps play on the fears of the potential buyer)

A long deserted chamber (a long—perhaps narrow—chamber that happens to be deserted at the moment)

A long-deserted chamber (a chamber that has been deserted for a long time)

Hyphens Make Reading Smoother

Here are some other examples that aren't so ambiguous but that will still often trip up the reader for a moment if you leave out the hyphen. Making your reader stop to think and re-read is something you should reserve for clever plot twists, elegant and thought-provoking lines, or intriguing ideas. Don't make them stop and re-read because of lacking punctuation.

Steel-plated boots

Custom-made device

Death-dealing steel

Decent-sized vessel

Grey-haired man

Sword-shaped hole

North-facing terrace

Cream-colored stones

Dirt-eating scum

Fire-lit faces

Remember that if you want to wrap your reader in your characters' world, you need to provide as few pointless distractions as possible. And unclear punctuation is one of the biggest culprits in the world of pointless distraction.

For more in this series:

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 2: Commas and Periods in Dialogue
Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 3: Commas with Participial Phrases

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 4: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Question Mark

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 5: Adjectives with Commas

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 5: Adjectives and Commas

Image by Peter Arkle

I'm back with more punctuation tips!

Commas between two adjectives

When you have two adjectives in a row, sometimes you put a comma between and sometimes you don't. The fancy grammar explanation has to do with whether the adjectives are coordinate or non-coordinate, and their underlying semantic categories, but you don't really need to know all that. All you need is the rule of thumb.

Rule of Thumb:

If you can REVERSE the two words or put AND between them, and it still sounds okay, you need the comma (to show that the adjectives are equal).

If you can't reverse or put AND, you shouldn't put a comma.

Example 1:

The slippery, slimy frog (good)

The slimy, slippery frog (good)

The slippery and slimy frog (good)

You need a comma between

Example 2;

The big foreign car (good)

The foreign big car (sounds weird and unnatural)

The big and foreign car (sounds a little weird)

Don't put a comma

NOTE: If you've done the tests and it's still not clear (maybe one test sounds a little awkward, but not totally wrong), it can probably go either way, depending on what you want to emphasize. Just make the call and then don't worry too much about it.

Practice

For each sentence, insert or delete commas between adjectives as necessary.

1) I hated the stupid iron bars on the windows.

2) She worked twelve hours a day in a cold wet cave.

3) He sang to his laughing, gurgling baby.

4) They ate delicious, ham sandwiches in a bright airy diner.

5) The sleek, silk dress must have cost a fortune.

6) The fluffy purring kitten softened his hard unyielding heart.

7) We suffered through the long boring meeting.

8) They all understood the complicated, geometry problem.

9) No one wanted the old, beat-up, lawn chair.

10) Samantha's wide, happy smile shone like the warm summer sun.

Practice ANSWERS (Highlight everything from here to "End Practice Answers" to reveal them.)

1) I hated the stupid iron bars on the windows. (Correct as is)

2) She worked twelve hours a day in a cold, wet cave.

3) He sang to his laughing, gurgling baby. (Correct as is)

4) They ate delicious ham sandwiches in a bright, airy diner.

5) The sleek silk dress must have cost a fortune. (This one's a little iffy, but probably you don't want a comma because "silk dress" is one unit. If you think "dress" is independent, and "sleek" and "silk" modify it equally, you can put the comma. If it were "silky," you'd surely put a comma)

6) The fluffy, purring kitten softened his hard, unyielding heart.

7) We suffered through the long, boring meeting.

8) They all understood the complicated geometry problem.

9) No one wanted the old, beat-up lawn chair. (the comma between "old" and "beat-up" is correct, but you can't reverse "beat-up" and "lawn" (The lawn, beat-up chair), so you don't need a comma there.

10) Samantha's wide, happy smile shone like the warm summer sun. (Correct as is)
End Practice Answers
Any you disagree with? Let me know below. Because we all know punctuation can be slippery.

For more:

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 2: Commas and Periods in Dialogue
Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 3: Commas with Participial Phrases

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 4: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Question Mark

How to Avoid Exposition in Dialogue

Good dialogue can stick the reader right in the middle of the action. It can reveal a lot about the characters and help pacing. But writing dialogue can be tricky.

Today's pitfall is what I call "exposition in dialogue" or "dialogue for the benefit of the reader." This is when two characters tell each other things they both already know and have no reason to talk about, just to give the reader important information. It's unnatural and awkward and should generally be avoided.

Example of Exposition in Dialogue:

I'm going to exaggerate a little here to illustrate the point.

Scene: Lila and Tom are brother and sister, both young adults. They're together when Tom gets a phone call. He hardly says anything, and when he hangs up, he turns to Lila.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. "John Abernathy is our grandfather. He owned two canneries in Alaska, and I remember how bad they smelled. Our mother fell out with him and we haven't seen him for ten years, but still, I can't believe it. We didn't even know he was sick."

Okay, so most of the examples in our writing aren't this bad, but I see less glaring cases all the time, and it's something we need to watch for. These two people already know this information. There's no reason they'd say it like this.

Solutions:

1) Narrate.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. John Abernathy was their grandfather, but they hadn't seen him in years, not since he and their mother had fallen out. They'd visited him once in Alaska, where he owned two canneries. Lila could still smell the fish if she closed her eyes. How could he be dead? She hadn't even known he was sick.

2) Argue. Twist the conversation into an argument to give them a reason to discuss it. Maybe your characters remember things differently. Maybe they have different ideas about the consequences or the importance or the truth of the background information.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. "Mom's gonna be sorry now."

"It wasn't her fault they argued. Grandpa--"

"That's just her side of the story. We don't know what happened. And she didn't have to cut him out of our lives completely. Now we've lost all these years, and we'll never get them back."

"It wasn't exactly as if he was the best grandpa before, hiding himself away in Alaska. He cared more about his canneries than he ever cared about us."

3) Reminisce. Have the characters take a walk down memory lane. Be careful with this, however, as it can sound forced.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," said Lila, sinking into a chair. "Dead? He was strong as a bull."

"Ten years ago he was. But things change."

"Remember the tour he gave us of his canneries in Alaska?"

"He let me chop the heads off the fish. I thought it was the coolest thing."

"It was disgusting. And the smell...but he was so proud of everything. I wish he and Mom hadn't fought. Now it's too late.."

4) Tell a character who doesn't know. Bring a third character into the conversation, one who really doesn't know the information. Use this sparingly, as it can also come across as too convenient and lazy on the author's part.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.

"Who's John Abernathy?" Tom's girlfriend asked.

"Our grandpa. Mom's dad."

"I didn't know he was still around. You never talk about him."

"We haven't seen him for years," Tom said. "He does fish canning up in Alaska. Mom had an argument with him a long time ago and wouldn't let us have anything to do with him."

"I'm so sorry."

More examples:

"Captain, if we get a whole in the hull, we'll sink!"

Uh...he's a pretty bad captain if he doesn't know this.

Solution: be more specific: "Captain, a whole that big will sink us in less than fifteen minutes."

"As you know, Jake got married six months ago. Now I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Solution: rephrase to build on what the listener knows: "Ever since Jake got married, I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Final Test:

When you think your dialogue is good, read it aloud. That's often the best way to hear if something sounds unnatural.

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic. She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books. Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others. For an e-book collection of some of her favorite pieces, check out Leaving Home. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

Ampersands: Avoiding Affectations for the Betterment of Your Book

readers against one other writers’ affectation similar to the ones already in that book (and in the first edition).That is overuse of ampersands. They are all affectations that keep literary agents, publishers and others in the publishing industry from taking you seriously. So here is an excerpt from that book and a little freebie balm to make those who love the looks of ampersands as much as I do.

The ampersand is a real pretty little dude, but it isn’t a letter nor even a word. It’s a logogram that represents a word. Its history goes back to classical antiquity, but interesting history and being cute are no reason to overuse it in the interest of trying to separate one’s writing from the pack. Better writers should concentrate on the techniques that make a difference rather than gimmicks that distract. Here are some legitimate uses and not-so-desirable uses for the ampersand.

The Writers Guild of America uses the ampersand to indicate a closer collaboration than and, in other words, to indicate a closer partnership rather than a situation in which one writer is brought in to rewrite or fix the screenplay of another. For those in the know it is a convenient way to subtly indicate that one writer has not been brought in to rewrite of fix the work of another.
Newspapers, journals, and others choose to use it when they are citing sources. That’s their style choice, not a grammar rule.
In similar citations, academia asks that the word and be spelled out.
Occasionally the term etc. is abbreviated to &c, though I can see no reason for confusing a reader with this. Etc. is already an abbreviation of et cetera and the ampersand version saves but one letter and isn’t commonly recognized.
Ampersands are sometimes used instead of the conjunction to which we’ve become accustomed when the and is part of a name or when naming a series of items, though here, too, it feels like a stretch and more confusing than helpful. Wikipedia gives this example: “Rock, pop, rhythm & blues and hip hop” as an acceptable use. But it, too, is an unnecessary affectation when we could clarify our intent with the traditional serial comma like this: “Rock, pop, rhythm and blues, and hip hop.”

For a little style guide from the point of view of academia go to https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/03/. To see a graphic artist’s creative use of the ampersand, one based on the authenticity of its simply being visually attractive, go to http://amperart.com. Chaz DeSimone, the cover artist for my Frugal Editor and Frugal Book Promoter, offers you a poster featuring ampersands every month with a subscription to his monthly letter which is also free.

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults. and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success (How To Do It Frugally series of book for writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers will find lists and other helps including Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 4: Question Marks

The Mysterious Case of the Missing (or Gratuitous) Question Mark

Missing Question Marks

Everyone knows that you should put a question mark after a question. Sometimes, however, it simply gets forgotten. This happens more frequently in the following situations, so keep an eye out for them, and be sure to end them with a question mark, as shown below.

-Long and convoluted questions

What is the best time of year—and I’m talking about a normal year, not like that crazy one we had in 2012, with hurricanes in winter and snow in July—for mushroom hunting in France?

-Questions with downward intonation, making them feel more like statements.

Do you prefer red or blue?

We aren’t in Kansas anymore, are we?

-Questions that were statements in your first draft, and which you since reworded. It’s easy to forget to switch the corresponding punctuation.

One way to help catch these missing marks is to read aloud. This is especially useful in discovering overly long or complicated questions (and sentences). Train yourself so that when you see the beginning of a question, you automatically look ahead to see if you have the required punctuation.

Gratuitous Question Marks

Perhaps even more disturbing than missing question marks are question marks where they don't belong. Just as you've trained yourself to look for questions and make sure you have the accompanying punctuation, train yourself to stop when you see a question mark, go back, and decide whether or not you need it. As you revise, look for the following common places to find gratuitous question marks, and make sure that you cut them out, as shown below.

-“Wonder” statements

I wonder if bears get hot in summer.

I often ask myself where my life is going.

I was wondering what time I could come by for a consultation.

-Statements of uncertainty.

I don’t know where the president is.

I’m not sure if you’re supposed to add butter or flour first.

-Commands that feel like questions.

Tell me where you stashed the money.

Guess who I saw today in the supermarket.*

Let me know if you need anything.

-Reported and indirect questions.

The cop asked us what we were doing out so late at night.

The question is whether or not we should open a new branch office in Detroit.

I need to know who that man is.

None of these are questions, grammatically, even if they have a sort of question feel. They should thus not take question marks.

If you really want a question mark, sometimes you can rephrase.

I wonder: do bears get hot in summer?

I’m not sure: are you supposed to add butter or flour first?

The question is: should we open a new branch office in Detroit?

*Gray Areas:

1) “Guess what?” This is debatable. Some experts say that it’s a command, and should always be punctuated as such. Others say that it depends on the intention. If your character is just excited, and doesn’t really expect someone to guess, stick with the more correct period (or judiciously placed exclamation point). If your character pauses for someone to actually guess, demanding a response like a regular question, consider breaking the rule and using a question mark.

2) Polite requests. “Would you shut the door?” vs “Would you shut the door.” Again, many experts claim that this is actually a command, not a question, and thus should be punctuated with a period. Others say that, grammatically, it’s a question, and should thus take a question mark. Very long, complicated requests like this do well with periods. With shorter requests, however, you’re less likely to jar your reader if you simply use a question mark. Now if you want to jar your reader, that’s a whole other story, and a great use of a period. See below.

Punctuation can help your subtlety

Example 1:

You have a scene where one character says, “Would you come in and shut the door.”

Now look at the same scene punctuated differently: “Would you come in and shut the door?”

See the difference? Without actually saying so, you’ve indicated in the first scene that your character is serious, or the situation’s serious, or he’s the type of person who never actually asks, but only demands.

Example 2:

“John isn’t leaving, is he?”

“John isn’t leaving, is he.”

In the first scene, your character is worried because she hasn’t had the chance to say goodbye yet. In the second, the shady punctuation hints that your character has just discovered that John isn’t leaving after all, and he’s disappointed. You could also write this:

“John isn’t leaving, is he?” Lionel asked dejectedly.

But which one is more subtle?

Writers On The Move