Writers On The Move: grammar

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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

It’s funny how we say things that we’ve heard all of our lives, but don’t give much thought as to the meaning of the phrase. Listed below are several of these cases in point. How many of these do you say wrong?

I could care less VS I couldn’t care less

What you think it means: "I couldn't care less."

What it actually means: You actually do care.

It begs the question

Would you think it means: To ask or raise a question

What it actually means: To use an argument that assumes as proved the very thing one is trying to prove.

Let's table this

What you think it means: To discuss something later

What it actually means: In the United States, it means what you think it does. But it means the exact opposite -- "let's discuss this right now" -- in most of the rest of the English-speaking world.

I did a 360 VS I did a 180

What you think it means: Completely changing your opinion.

What it actually means: Your opinion changed, but then changed back to your original opinion.

PIN number VS just PIN

What you think it means: A non-repetitive way to refer to your personal identification number

What it actually means: That you're being redundant. Especially when you use your PIN number at the ATM machine.

Lion's share

What you think it means: The greatest of multiple shares

What it actually means: The phrase originally comes from an Aesop's Fable in which the lion took all -- not the largest -- of the shares.

I am nauseous.VS I am nauseated.

What you think it means: I have a sick feeling in my stomach.

What it actually means: "I make other people sick," the correct term would have been "I am nauseated."

Here are some words that you'll see used incorrectly on a daily basis.

Irregardless

People think it means: Regardless.

Actually means: nothing.

Peruse

People think it means: To skim over or browse something.

Actually means: Almost the opposite of that.

Peruse means "to read with thoroughness or care." If you peruse a book, you leave no page unturned. This makes sense when you consider the Middle English per use, meaning "to wear out or use up."

Ironic

People think it means: Any kind of amusing coincidence.

Actually means: An outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect.

Pristine

People think it means: "Spotless" or "as good as new."

Actually means: "Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original."

Nonplussed

People think it means: Unperturbed, not worried.

Actually means: Utterly perplexed or confused. It comes from the Latin non plus (a state in which nothing more can be done).

Bemused

People think it means: Mildly amused.

Actually means: Bewildered or confused.

Enormity

People think it means: Enormous.

Actually means: Outrageous or heinous on a grand scale.

Plethora

People think it means: A lot of something.

Actually means: Too much of something, an over-abundance.

redundant

People think it means: useless or unable to perform its function

Actually means: an excess of something, that something is "surplus to requirements" and no longer needed, or that it is obsolete.

Here are some confusing combinations:

your/you're

Your means "belonging to you."
You're is a contraction of "you are."

Whose/Who’s

Whose is an interrogative or relative pronoun.

Who’s is a contraction for “who is”.

Who/Whom

Use who when it is the subject of the sentence,

whom when it is the object. Replace the word "who/whom" with "he/him." If "he" is correct, "who" is correct. If "him" is correct, "whom" is correct.

To/too/two

To indicates direction.
Too means "also."
Two is the number after one but before three.

Their/there/they're

Their is a possessive meaning "belonging to them."
There indicates position.
They're is a contraction of "they are."

That/Which

that is specific,

whereas which is general.

than/then

Than is used when you're making a comparison between two or more things.

Then is used to indicate that something happens after something else, often with a cause-and-effect relationship. Also use after "if" clauses.

Sight/Site/Cite

Sight involves your eyes being able to see.

Site is a location.

Cite is to give credit for a source

Sit/Set

When used as a verb, to set means "to place" or "to adjust to a value",

whereas to sit means, "to be seated".

Roll/role

A roll is:

a small piece of bread

a piece of paper that has been turned into a tube

a verb meaning "to turn (paper) into a tube"

a verb meaning "to turn over and over"

a list of people in a group

A role is a part in a play or the function you perform in a certain group.

Piece/peace/peas

A piece is a portion or fragment of something.

Peace is the opposite of war.

Peas are small green vegetables.

Past/passed

Past is an adjective meaning "before now." It is also a noun meaning "the time before now."

Passed is a past-participle form of the verb "to pass" meaning "to give" or "to move".

Some people also use it euphemistically for death; My father has passed.

More/most

More should be used when comparing exactly two things. For example: You have more ice cream than Martha.

Most should be used when comparing more than two things. For example: Sandy has the most ice cream in the room.

lay/lie

Lay means you have to lay an object.

Lie means that it does not take an object; it is something a person does.

However; lay is also the past-tense form of lie.

The past-tense form of lay however is laid.

Isle/aisle

An isle is a small island in a string of small islands.

An Aisle is corridor through which one may pass from one place to another.

Imply/infer

Something is implied if it is a suggestion intended by the person speaking,

A conclusion is inferred if it is reached by the person listening.

Its/it's

Unlike most possessives, its does not contain an apostrophe.

But with its/it's you need to remember that an apostrophe often replaces a letter. If the word is it's, ask, "What letter has been removed?" The letter i from it is has been replaced by the apostrophe.

Hoard/horde

A hoard is a store or accumulation of things.

A horde is a large group of people.

Historic/historical

historic describes an event of importance—one that shaped history or is likely to do so. Historical merely describes something that happened in the past.

Hangar/hanger

The airplane is in the hangar; the coat is on the hanger.

Hang

To hang something or someone in the present tense, one uses the same form. In the past, however, pictures are hung and criminals are hanged.

Good/well

well is an adverb; He did that well.

good is an adjective; That was a good dinner.

Farther/further

Both these words mean "more far." Farther means “more far” in terms that can be measured.

Further refers to more abstract differences, like the difference between two people's points of view.

Emigration/immigration

Emigration is the process of leaving a country;

immigration is the process of arriving in a country.

Disinterested/uninterested

To be disinterested in something means to not be biased about something.

To be uninterested means to not be interested in or intrigued by something.

Desert/dessert

A desert is a dry sandy place.

Dessert is the sweet stuff you generally eat after a meal.

Disburse/disperse

Disburse means "to give out", especially money.

Disperse means "to scatter".

Diffuse/defuse

To diffuse is to disperse randomly, whereas to defuse is to remove the fuse from a bomb, or in general to render a situation less dangerous.

Diffuse can also be used as an adjective, meaning, "not concentrated".

Dawn/sunrise

Dawn is frequently used to mean "sunrise", but technically it means the twilight period immediately before sunrise.

Assure/ensure/insure

To assure is to intend to give the listener confidence,

to ensure is to make certain of,

and to insure is to purchase insurance.

Altar/alter

An altar is a table or stand upon which religious ceremonies are performed.

Alter means "to change"

Acute/chronic

Acute means "sharp", as an acute illness is one that rapidly worsens and reaches a crisis.

A chronic illness may also be a severe one, but it is long-lasting or lingering.

Affect/effect

Affect is a verb meaning "to influence" or "to cause change in."

Effect is a noun meaning "the result or outcome."

Accept/except

Accept is a verb meaning "to agree to" or "to adapt to"

Except is a preposition or conjunction meaning roughly "unless" or "if not."

Compliment Vs. Complement

There is no one as bad as I am about getting words mixed up. Lie vs. lay is one of my biggest errors. I don't know why but it is. The point is I really have no room to criticize others, but there is still two words that really bug me when I see them misused, and I have been seeing it more and more. Those words are compliment and complement.

They have been misused in books, journals, sales flyers that stores put in the newspapers, and I've seen it on billboards. Being one of those crazy people who actually owns a dictionary, I looked up both words to find the following definitions:

Compliment--An action showing praise and respect.

Complement--That which serves to complete; the full number required.

Our readers expect writers to know what they are doing, and that applies to not only our writing but our spelling and grammar. So we must be aware of our spelling and meaning of words along with all the other aspects of writing.

Faye M. Tollison

Author of: To Tell the Truth

Upcoming books: The Bible Murders

Sarah's Secret

Member of: Sisters In Crime

Writers on the Move

www.fayemtollison.com

www.fayetollison.com

www.fmtoll.wordpress.com

www.booksinsync.com

Grammatical Memory

I wanted to write a post about parts of speech, subjects, objects and all that. One of the reasons is my annoyance over misuse of pronouns, especially two cases: after prepositions, and as subjects of an implied phrase, but I quickly fell into the mire of memory. You see, I remember all this stuff, the grammar, the parts of speech, the rules of usage, because my father drummed the rules relentlessly into my head. Almost every night at dinner featured discussions about some point of grammar.

In French, the rules are simple: if the pronoun is the subject of the verb, AND it comes right before the verb, it's the subjective form.
But in English, what is a subject is a little more complicated:

Jack is taller than I.

Why? Because "I" is the subject of the implied phrase, "than I am."

and:

It's I, or was, when I was in school.

Here are two old poem of mine. I give them to you unedited, in its original form, in spite of my itch to revise them.

This is why I remember my grammar.

If You Were Still Alive

In spite of what I know everyone says
About each successive generation

Being deficient,
Not as able,
Morally superior
Or grammatically correct

As the one before,

I am privately convinced
Of the truth of the proposition
That today's youth's knowledge
Of the English language

Is sadly lacking,

And that even those
Who should know better,

To wit,

Those writing for the local paper,
Do not know how to properly use pronouns

Or, indeed,

That English has a subjunctive,
A fact that you revealed to me
When I came home and told you
That French had a subjunctive but that

English didn't

So I just wanted to say that I still remember
All that stuff and that in spite of my

Extreme annoyance

At your continual repetition of the entire rule
And its complete explanation,
Every time I said,

"It's me"

I want you to know that every time
I hear someone misuse a pronoun
I not only mutter under my breath,
But I think of you and think,

"If you were still alive..."

Seasons

You took out the garbage
and got lost outside your apartment,
unable to recognize your front door.

That night you wandered naked
down the hall. I waited for you to flinch
as you recognized me, your daughter.

You never noticed me,
instead continued to the bathroom,
where you attempted, fruitlessly, to pee.

Your pubic hair was gray. When had
you gotten so old?

Where was the father who taught
me to make scrambled eggs,
pledging me never to add milk?

Where was the father who argued
about gerunds over dinner?

In the morning I took you to
Mount Sinai hospital, where
they diagnosed prostate trouble,
admitted you.

When we took your grandsons to see you;
you barely remembered their names:
your mind, once so sharp, now rusted.

We moved you to the nursing home
near Trinity Church. When we came to visit
we would go across to the church
and pray.

I had to take care of you.

It was my time.

Doubled Preposition Trouble

Are you one of those writers who have a doubled preposition personality? I have to admit that I am, and that is why I ty to be self-conscious about them and why I self-edit.

You may not be aware that you use doubled prepositions. It took me a while to pick up on it. Just what is a doubled preposition? The best way to answer this question is to give a few examples: 1) Your character sits down on the sofa; 2) A character walks over to the house; 3) Another character looks over at the girl walking by. Sound familiar?

Of course there is the occasional tripled preposition such as: 1) looking down below at; or 2) coming on over to.

I am sure you can see what I mean after reading these few examples, but what does it mean to you as a writer? Well, it could mean having a good story rejected by an agent or publisher. It also labels you as an amateur writer or, at best, an average writer.

There is, however, one instance where doubled or tripled prepositions are accepted and even beneficial. Dialogue! In this setting it can actually be beneficial in giving your readers an impression of the character. An impression that could, if handled properly, label your character as a simple person or an uneducated person. Through this type of dialogue, you can give personal information about your character without actually saying it.

So the next time you self-edit be sure to watch for those doubled or tripled prepositions. It could mean acceptance or rejection.

Faye M. Tollison
Author of: To Tell the Truth
Upcoming books: The Bible Murders and Sarah's Secret
www.fayemtollison.com
www.fmtoll.wordpress.com
www.fayetollison.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/fayetollison

Avoiding Extraneous Words

I recently learned a new term: Pleonasm. Is it a murder suspect? A graffiti artist? A practical joker?

Turns out, it’s nothing quite so mysterious. A pleonasm is a word or phrase, which can be removed from a sentence without changing its meaning. For example, John walked to the chair and sat down. “Down” is a pleonasm and can be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence.

Although I was not familiar with the term, I did know them when I saw them. In fact, part of my editing advice revolves around deleting extraneous words. Words such as “that,” “very,” “both,” and “there was.” Others might include “began,” “started,” or “continued.”

Here’s another phrase that nearly everyone is guilty of: “The sky held a myriad of stars.” Myriad means “countless.” So the correct use is “The sky held myriad stars.” (Simply substitute the word countless for myriad.) That eliminates two extraneous words.

And then there is the word “unique.” We are inundated with varying degrees of “uniqueness” every day: “That was a rather unique movie.” “Your story is very unique.” What’s next—uniquely unique? Unique means “the only one of its kind.” Unique is unique. It doesn’t need any modifiers

I also caution to watch use of “ly” words. These words are often used to prop up weak verbs. For example: “She walked quickly” can be stronger if written “She strode” (or bounded or rushed). Likewise with the “to be” verbs (was, were, had been, etc.) especially when used with an “ing” verb. “She was walking” is better as “She walked.”

Some authors like to use taglines (he said, she said) plus an action: “…she said, taking a sip of coffee.” The simple action is sufficient: “She took a sip of coffee.”
You also don’t need to describe two actions at once: She nodded and smiled. He puffed himself up and took a swig...

A writer friend of mine is looking at every sentence in her manuscript and challenging herself to remove at least one word from each. She has cut 14,000 words from a 400-page manuscript.

I challenge you to go one step farther: see if you can delete an entire phrase from a sentence, an entire sentence from a paragraph, a paragraph from a scene.
Hunt down and exterminate those “Pesky Pleonasms.”

-------------------------

A native Montanan, Heidi M. Thomas now lives in Northwest Washington. Her first novel, Cowgirl Dreams, is based on her grandmother, and the sequel, Follow the Dream, has recently won the national WILLA Award. Heidi has a degree in journalism, a certificate in fiction writing, and is a member of Northwest Independent Editors Guild. She teaches writing and edits, blogs, and is working on the next books in her “Dare to Dream” series.

To Cap or Not to Cap

A couple years ago, I participated in an impromptu editors’ discussion (via email) on the rules for capitalization of titles. We were trying to reach a consensus in terms of our in-house standard (we all worked for a small publisher).

Titles such as president and secretary general can cause much confusion over whether or not to capitalize. However, The Chicago Manual of Style (CMS) contains explicit guidelines on the topic. For instance, consider the president of the United States. The following lists the correct usage of capitalization (or not):

- The president of the United States (unless used formally, such as in a citation or an introduction)

- President Barack Obama

- Barack Obama, president of the United States

- U.S. president Barack Obama

Another variation might be “the president Obama,” although I doubt that particular phrase is ever used.

Now let’s look at Captain Crunch (just for fun). If used as a substitute for Crunch’s name in a direct address, “Captain” is capitalized, e.g. “Hand me the spoon, Captain. We’re taking on milk.” But in general reference, he is simply “the captain.”

One aspect of the online debate that generated some discussion was the question of parents, e.g. when and if you should capitalize “mom” and “dad.” In the end, we agreed to treat the terms as titles. By that standard, when “mom” or “dad” was used in place of a person’s name in direct address, it should be capitalized. By contrast, if a term was used in indirect reference, it should not be capitalized.

- “Hey, mom, where did Sarah’s Dad go?” INCORRECT

- “Hey, Mom, where did Sarah’s dad go?” CORRECT

The CMS contains several pages of examples that can answer most capitalization questions…and any other usage and style questions you might have. The 16^th Edition is currently available from Amazon.com for less than $36 US. That just might be the best $36 you spend this year.

Betty Dobson is an award-winning writer of short fiction, essays and poetry. She also writes newspaper and magazine articles but is still waiting for those awards to materialize. In the meantime, she continues to run InkSpotter Publishing, which has three new books available and several more in the works for 2012.

Self-Editing

Self-editing is something every writer should do, but it means knowing how to do it. Every writer should have a good book in their library, but it shouldn't just sit on the shelf. Get it out often and use it. I like to get my book down and go through it every so often whether or not I'm doing any self-editing just for reinforcement.

A good book on self-editing will tell you not to do any editing until you have your first draft completed. Because writing and editing are two different mind sets, it's hard to concentrate on both at the same time, hence causing you not to do a complete or proper job of either process. So the right order is to write the first draft of your book first and then do your self-editing.

A thorough self-editing includes it all: grammar, punctuation, structure, dialog, point of view, interior monologue, beats, tributes, rhythm voice, and characterization. Are there any conflicting areas in your manuscripts? Do your characters sound and feel real? Do you have areas where you tell when you should be showing? Does your plot flow and have the ability to hold the readers' attention? And do you have a balance between your narrative and dialogue? I could probably think of some more points/questions you should ask yourself, but these are enough to give you an idea of the point to self-editing.

Now I know what you are thinking. But I have an editor to do my editing for me! That's true in most cases, but your book will be more polished if you edit your manuscript yourself first and then let an editor go over it again. A first-time author will sound less amateurish , and an experienced author will sound like the experienced writer he/she is..

Sound like a lot of work? You bet it is! But it could pay off in the long run.

Faye M. Tollison

Author of To Tell the Truth

Upcomng books: The Bible Murders

Sarah's Secret

www.fayemtollison.com

www.fmtoll.wordpress.com

www.facebook.com/faye.tollison

tollisonf@gmail.com

To Infinitively Split

If you play Trivial Pursuit, you know about the grammatical error featured in the opening credits of Star Trek. The famous line “to boldly go where no man has gone before” contains the split infinitive “to boldly go” (where the adverb “boldly” splits the infinitive “to go”). While the line remains mostly unaltered throughout Star Trek’s many incarnations, it gets “corrected” in the first episode of the series Enterprise, in a recorded speech by warp drive inventor Zefram Cochrane: “To go boldly where no man has gone before.” Doesn’t have quite the same ring, does it?

The prescriptive rule against split infinitives was created in response to its growing usage in the 19th century. While no one was clearly identified as the creator of said rule, there were many writers who supported the edict. According to Bache (1869), "The to of the infinitive mood is inseparable from the verb.” Of like mind, Raub (1897) states, "The sign to must not be separated from the remaining part of the infinitive by an intervening word.” There were perhaps as many who denounced the restriction. But the rule took hold of public consciousness by the early 20th century, gaining a firm toe hold in academia and the media.

Trying to correct a split infinitive will sometimes cause problems. The aforementioned “to boldly go” converts well enough into “to go boldly.” The altered phrase might not have as much panache (if only because the original is so strikingly familiar), but it does carry the same meaning.

By contrast, consider the following (with the first line containing the split infinitive “to slowly remove” and the remaining lines as possible “solutions”):

1. “She decided to quickly remove all split infinitives from her writing.”
2. “She quickly decided to remove all split infinitives from her writing.”
3. “She decided to remove quickly all split infinitives from her writing.”
4. “She decided to remove all split infinitives quickly from her writing.”
5. “She decided to remove all split infinitives from her writing quickly.”

While the meaning (making quick changes to the writing) is most often unaffected, line #2 instead describes a quick decision. Furthermore, line #s 3-5 come across as clunky.

Split infinitives might be against the rules, but sometimes they can’t be avoided. If you can find a way to omit them or rephrase them, by all means do so. But don’t alter them at the expense of meaning.

Consider this bit of sage advice from the Fowler brothers: "The 'split' infinitive has taken such hold upon the consciences of journalists that, instead of warning the novice against splitting his infinitives, we must warn him against the curious superstition that the splitting or not splitting makes the difference between a good and a bad writer" (The King’s English, 1907).

In closing, remember this overall approach to grammar:

Learn the rules. Understand the rules. Then decide when, how and why to break the rules to best effect.

NOTE: A tip of the virtual hat to Wikipedia for the quotes used above.

Betty Dobson is an award-winning writer of short fiction, essays and poetry. She also writes newspaper and magazine articles but is still waiting for those awards to materialize. In the meantime, she continues to run InkSpotter Publishing, which has three new books available and several more in the works for 2012.

To Splice or Not to Splice

I recently edited a manuscript that was rife with sentences combined with the word “then.” Like this one: She pulled the lever, allowing the big steel blades to catch the wind. At first nothing came then finally a small trickle of water splashed into the trough.

My red pencil itches to add a comma. It’s two separate actions. The “and” seems to be understood and to me is redundant. At first nothing came, and then finally a small trickle of water splashed into the trough. If you use “and,” do you even need “then?” But in this case, “and” just doesn’t say the same thing.

According to grammar gurus, this is called a “comma splice” and is supposedly a no-no. As one grammarian put it, “It feels so right. It flows so well. It looks so pretty. But technically, it’s as wrong as wearing wooly socks with strappy summer sandals.”

This same source reminds us of an acronym to remember what a coordinating conjunction is: FANBOYS: For-And-Nor-But-Or-Yet-So. But, she says, be careful of the words then and now; neither is a coordinating conjunction.

And regarding the use of a comma with "then," the Gregg Reference Manual states:
"When hence, then, thus, so, or yet appears at the beginning of an independent clause, the comma following is omitted unless the connective requires special emphasis or a nonessential element occurs at that point."

Examples:
Melt the butter over high heat; then add the egg.
Melt the butter over high heat; then, when the foam begins to subside, add the egg.

But, to me, it’s not so cut and dried. “The old dog awoke at the sound of his master’s voice, lifted his head then stood up, and wagged his tail.” The phrase just seems all run together. I know the sentence can be reworded to solve the problem. But, since it’s fiction, can we take a little liberty now and again, then add a comma?

What say you, fellow authors?

-------------------------

Diagramming for Grammar

How many of you remember diagramming sentences in elementary school? Where you shuffled, with great trepidation, to the chalkboard to draw a straight line and bisect it to show the “subject” (noun) and “predicate” (verb). And then the diagonal line(s) underneath one or more of those words to show “modifiers.”

I have to make a confession—I liked diagramming. Although some have likened it to a mathematical equation, I see it more as putting pieces into a jigsaw puzzle (I’m not mathematically inclined, but I do like puzzles).

It is easy enough to figure out “The horse galloped” or “The cat hissed.” But what about “John’s horse galloped around the paddock and then ran into the woods.”

Oh my. Now you’re getting into lines underneath the lines beneath the subject/predicate line. And where does “around the paddock” go? OK, maybe that’s easy enough (under the verb galloped seems logical).

But where does the rest of it go? And why do we care? Do we need to know how an airplane is designed before we fly? Do we need to know the terms and parts of a sentence before we write?

Well, yes and no. You don’t need to know the terms “participle,” “gerund,” or “appositive” to write well. But sometimes you need to know the rules before you can venture into breaking them.

According to Kitty Burns Florey, author of Sister Bernadette’s Dog Barking, diagramming was introduced in 1877 in the textbook, Higher Lessons in English, by Alonzo Reed and Brainerd Kellogg to “reform the cold-blooded murder of the English language.”

Florey writes, “By promoting the beautifully logical rules of syntax, diagramming would root out evils like ‘him and me went’ and ‘I ain’t got none,’ until everyone wrote like Ralph Waldo Emerson, or at least James Fenimore Cooper.”

Florey also asks a teacher who is presently teaching diagramming to her seventh graders, why?

“‘It just makes grammatical ideas clearer,’ she says. ‘It’s a tool for teaching them how to construct a sentence correctly.’”

“Does it make them better writers?”

“She dismissed the idea. ‘Maybe it will make them better editors, but it does not improve their writing.’”

Aha. Maybe that’s why I’ve ended up as an editor!

And as for making my writing better, maybe something subliminal in the back of my brain helps me draw upon my diagramming experience to decide questions like whether to use “he” or “him” as the object of “who.”

Who knows?

What are your experiences with diagramming and what did you learn from it?

Self-Editing: 10 Tips Checklist for Children’s Writers

You’ve been working on your story for a while now and you think it’s just about done. It’s been critiqued numerous times and you revised it numerous times. Now, it’s time to proofread and self-edit. You don’t want to short-change yourself on the last stretch, so get ready to put the final layers of polish on your manuscript.

Here are 10 tips to you can use to help fine-tune your children’s manuscript:

1. Check for clarity

Check each sentence for clarity. It’s important to remember that you may know what you intend to convey, but your readers may not. It’d be a good idea to have someone else read the manuscript for you. This is where a good critique group comes in handy.

2. Check for “telling” and lackluster sentences

Check each sentence for telling. While you will need some effective telling, you want to have more showing.

Example: Joe hit his head and was dazed.
Alternative: Joe banged his head against the tree. He wobbled a moment and fell to the ground.

Show, don’t tell. Use your imagination and picture your character going through motions—maybe he’s turning his lip up, or he’s cocking his head. Try to visualize it; this will help in showing rather than telling.

A good way to add more showing is to add more sensory details. Use the five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste) to create a living character; this will help breathe life into your story.

Example: Joe felt cold.
Alternative: A chill ran through Joe’s body.

Example: Joe was frightened.
Alternative: Joe’s breath stopped. Goosebumps made the hair on his arms stand at attention.

3. Point of View: Watch for head hopping
Checking for head hopping is especially important for children’s writers since their stories should be told from the protagonist’s point of view or perspective.

If the story is being told from your main character’s point of view (POV) make sure it stays there.

If my POV character Joe is sad and wearing a frown, it wouldn’t be advisable to say: Noticing his sad face Fran immediately knew Joe was distraught. This is bringing Fran’s POV into the picture.

You might say: Joe knew Fran would immediately notice his despair; they were friends for so long.

Or, you can just use dialogue: “Joe, what’s wrong?”

4. Watch for story consistency, conflict, clarity, and flow

Checking for consistency, conflict, clarity, and flow is another must for all writers of fiction. If you’re a children’s writer it’s even more important. Children need a structured story that’s consistent. The story also needs to provide conflict and action to keep the child engaged, along with clarity to help with comprehension. It should also flow smoothly with one paragraph, chapter moving seamlessly into the next.

5. Use spell-check

Make sure you write with spell-check on or use your word processor’s spell-check when you’re finished with your manuscript. I like writing with it on.

Just be careful here because while spell-check will catch misspelled words it won’t catch words that are spelled correct, but are the incorrect word in regard to meaning.

Example: He was to tired.
Correct: He was too tired.

These words are called homonyms and spell-check will not catch them.

A homonym is a word that sounds like another word, but is spelled different and has a different meaning. Examples of homonyms are: hare/here/hair; bare/bear/; stationary/stationery; peek/peak; principle/principal; capital/capitol; compliments/complements; cite/site/sight.

6. Use your Find function on your word processor

This is a great tool to check for “ly” words, “ing” words, weak verbs, and over used words such as “was.”

7. Watch for redundancy

Check the story for repeated phrasing and even paragraph beginnings. You don’t want several paragraphs in a row beginning with “the” or other repetitive wording. When editing your manuscript use the Find function in your word program and look for overused words.

Another aspect of redundancy is using unnecessary words.

Example: Sit down on the chair.
The word ‘down’ is redundant; ‘sit’ implies down.

Example: She whispered quietly.
The word ‘quiety’ is redundant.

8. Check for tight writing

In today’s market, tight writing is important—readers have a shorter attention span. So, get rid of unnecessary words and text.

Example: Joe had a really hard time lifting the very heavy and big trunk.
Alternative: Joe struggled to lift the huge trunk.

Also, watch for words such as “began” and “started.”

Example: He began to lift the trunk.
Alternative: He lifted the trunk.

9. Check for punctuation and grammar

There are a number of great books and even online articles that will help you learn proper punctuation and grammar. Two books that I use are: The Frugal Editor by Carolyn Howard Johnson and The Great Grammar Book by Marsha Sramek.

You can also do a Google search.

10. Children’s writers: Take illustrations into account

When writing a picture book you need to allow for illustrations. Picture books are a marriage between content and illustrations—a 50/50 deal. So, watch for text that an illustration can handle. With picture books your content doesn’t have to describe every little detail—the illustrations will embellish the story.

Well, this completes the 10 tips, but please know that self-editing is a tricky business and this is not an all inclusive list. Even knowing all the obstacles to watch out for, self-editing is still tricky. It's almost impossible for us writers to catch all our own errors; we're much too close to our work. We know every nook and cranny of the story and that makes it difficult to read it in a fresh manner. Even if we think we're reading every word, our mind is way ahead of us, that's why it's advisable to look into hiring an editor.

Karen Cioffi is a children's ghostwriter and rewriter. Have a children's book manuscript, outline, or idea? Check out: Writing for Children.

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